This wont make any sense to anybody overseas, but I had to explain this to a friend this morning and realised how stupid it sounded, so I've decided to ridicule myself yet further by blogging it.. all part of my ongoing mission towards self destruction!
When I was little (about 9ish I think) I was affraid of the Wombles. A Children's tv program that features small furry mammals. According to the shows theme tune lived overground, underground "wombling free", somewhere in the general vicinity of Wimbledon Common in London. Having seen the show, and having visited Wimbledon common a number of times and comparing the height of them compared to park benches I'd figured out they were about one and a half to two feet high. I'd also figured out they must somehow be related to badgers (cant remember how I got there). One bit always concerned me.. you never saw any, there was no wildlife program about wombles.. no David Attenburgh squatting next to a womble hole waiting for Uncle Bulgaria to come wombling out looking for scraps.. or dead wombles at the side of the road after being swatted by a large truck. From this I concluded that wombles were in fact, the masters of stealth, and indestructable.Then the whole scandal kicked off in later years about parts of a super gun being found at dover for shipping to one "S Hussain, Iraq". Of course the government detained all the bits, and the makers were sought for stern questioning.
Personally I think they missed out the Wombles, and that they're actually the arms merchants behind terrorist organisations and Sadam's regime of doom.. "making good use of the things that they find..." the song goes.. bloody arms to Iraq that's what it was... deep beneath wimbledon common biological weapons of terrifying magnitude are being crafted.. and they go and make a childrens tv program about them!!
Womble "Stepney" puts the finishing touches on a new anti-personnel mine layerWhen I was little I was scared of wombles... the world should be too!
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